Once a month Richard goes to an Organic Dairy Farmers discussion group, they take turns having it at each farm so can be anywhere in cheshire, usually I look forward to an evening on my own, where I can get the children into bed in good time then have a couple of hours to watch trashy TV or just sit with a book and a glass of wine.
Tonight was that night so after I had turned the childrens lights out I was going to pour a drink and catch up on Greys Anatomy, but conscience called and I went out to have a check round the sheeps before it got dark, things have been fairly quiet the last few days as we must only have 15 or so left to lamb. But tonight I found a sheep with a little head poking out, not good as there was only a bit of one front leg showing which means it's bent up blocking the exit. Part of me wanted to go back inside and pretend I hadnt seen it but no way could I do that, so I went to open and close gates into the yard and get the crook to try and trap her in a corner so I could get hold of her.
It was not as difficult as I was fearing and I managed to catch her in the field, I have helped Rich with lots of sheep but never on my own, I managed to straighten the leg out and deliver the lamb but it was already dead which made me feel awful, if I had been quicker with the children maybe I could have saved it, I feel very responsible in a way that I dont when Richard is there and the same thing happens.
I took the lamb away as I cant bear it when the night creatures come and nibble on them and marked the ewe with a red spot so we can identify her tomorrow, she does not seem bothered and after lying there for a few minutes got up and wandered over to some other sheep and started grazing.
I have scrubbed my hands and arms, my coat will need another wash and I will forever associate the smell of anti bac hand soap with lambing.
I have a small feeling of achievment that I coped, but not very well, I will try to do better next time.
I think I will have a cup of tea.